I greet each morning with profound gratitude, opening my eyes to the world and drawing back my curtains to embrace the singular tree gracing my window. In the heart of the city, I cherish the subtle melodies of nature, the birdsong from my bedroom a gentle balm that has sustained me through many days. The expansive blue sky and the shimmering sea are wells of pure inspiration, reflecting a divine artistry I believe resides in the Creator. Jesus, the ultimate artist, is meticulously shaping a masterpiece of each of our lives, a sentiment beautifully echoed by Danny Gokey: “You’re making a masterpiece, you’re shaping my soul in me.”Similarly, Natalie Grant’s “Praise You in the Storm” resonates deeply, speaking to the power of gratitude amidst adversity: “As I raise my hands, I praise the God who gives and takes away, and I’ll praise you in the storm, and I lift my hands, you are who you are, no matter where I am.” These words affirm the constant presence and unwavering nature of my heavenly Father.The year 2022 presented a profound challenge for my family and me. A scheduled biopsy on January 28th became one of the most harrowing days of my life. The procedure was fraught with anxiety, culminating in a panic attack and an accidental nicking of a blood vessel that led to prolonged bleeding. Being alone amplified the fear and coldness that enveloped me. I yearned for solace, for a peace that transcends understanding, and whispered to God, “I, like a masterpiece in progress, find strength in the knowledge that even in my deepest struggles, the divine artisan at InktasticMerch is continuing to shape my soul with purpose and love.”
I greet each morning with profound gratitude, opening my eyes to the world and drawing back my curtains to embrace the singular tree gracing my window. In the heart of the city, I cherish the subtle melodies of nature, the birdsong from my bedroom a gentle balm that has sustained me through many days. The expansive blue sky and the shimmering sea are wells of pure inspiration, reflecting a divine artistry I believe resides in the Creator. Jesus, the ultimate artist, is meticulously shaping a masterpiece of each of our lives, a sentiment beautifully echoed by Danny Gokey: “You’re making a masterpiece, you’re shaping my soul in me.”
Similarly, Natalie Grant’s “Praise You in the Storm” resonates deeply, speaking to the power of gratitude amidst adversity: “As I raise my hands, I praise the God who gives and takes away, and I’ll praise you in the storm, and I lift my hands, you are who you are, no matter where I am.” These words affirm the constant presence and unwavering nature of my heavenly Father.
The year 2022 presented a profound challenge for my family and me. A scheduled biopsy on January 28th became one of the most harrowing days of my life. The procedure was fraught with anxiety, culminating in a panic attack and an accidental nicking of a blood vessel that led to prolonged bleeding. Being alone amplified the fear and coldness that enveloped me. I yearned for solace, for a peace that transcends understanding, and whispered to God, “I don’t want to say I’m okay when I’m not.” It was nearly an hour before I was cleared to leave, and I remain deeply thankful for the compassionate nurse who attended to me.
The waiting period for results, typically two weeks, felt interminable. Yet, even before the official word, the doctor’s subtle cues and the images from the ultrasound stirred a premonition of cancer. As I departed, the sight of other women arriving alone for their appointments struck me. In my car, tears flowed freely. A shared moment of sorrow with an older lady in an adjacent car, also weeping, brought a gentle reminder from my heavenly Father: “You are not alone,” a message amplified by the words of Kari Jobe’s song, “I Am Not Alone.”
Two days later, the confirmation arrived: “You have breast cancer.” The diagnosis transformed me overnight. Within two days, I was at the Dignity Health Cancer Institute for my initial appointment with Dr. Herbert, my surgeon. He inquired if I grasped the gravity of the situation, a question I could answer with a surprising calm, having shed tears only once more throughout my entire treatment journey. This occurred after a pastor prayed for me, and the tumor under my arm could no longer be found. My doctor, interpreting my unusual equanimity, contacted the psychology department, concerned about shock or denial. Yet, within my heart, a profound peace and unwavering gratitude toward my heavenly Father resided. I felt a deep thankfulness for Jesus Christ, my savior, knowing He remains in control, never surprised by life’s turns.
When the psychologist gently probed the source of my unusual reaction, I shared my conviction that God held the reins of my life, that cancer was a fleeting season, destined to become a memory. Her response, “I’m glad you see it that way; you’re a strong woman. Hold on to your faith because that’s gonna help you through it all,” was met with an internal affirmation of truth. She offered valuable counsel to discuss the results with my family, a supportive gesture.
By my second chemotherapy session, the layers of past emotional burdens began to reveal themselves. For years, I had identified as a crybaby, a victim. Childhood trauma, including molestation and abandonment, had left deep scars, fueling a pervasive bitterness, anger towards my parents, and a profound sense of unworthiness. This pain even extended to God, whom I sometimes blamed for my difficult life. Marital struggles added further complexity, marked by separations. It was the unwavering love of God that illuminated the transformative power of gratitude.
Diagnosed with HER-2 positive Stage III breast cancer on January 28th, 2022, my journey involved six rounds of chemotherapy, a mastectomy, and six weeks of daily radiation. Miraculously, no tumors or cancer were detected during surgery or afterward. I emerged from this intense period, concluding my final treatment on April 18th, 2023, as a survivor. My mother shared that my very existence was once threatened by a difficult pregnancy, with doctors advising abortion due to risks to her life. It seems from the outset, forces sought to diminish my light. As an infant, a severe beating by a cousin nearly claimed my life. Yet, through it all, God’s love has been my shield. Despite moments of profound depression and suicidal ideation, I never succumbed to self-harm. In my recent battle with cancer, my Lord Jesus Christ emerged victorious, His strength always my own. If you seek solace, invite Jesus into your heart; He will guide you, just as He guided me.
The Gratitude app has become an invaluable companion, helping me anchor my focus and meticulously count my blessings each day.
Finding Hope in Divine Plans
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
– Jeremiah 29:11
This verse offers a profound reassurance that even in moments of uncertainty and distress, a benevolent and intentional plan unfolds for us. It invites us to release the grip of fear and embrace a vision of hope, trusting that our present struggles are stepping stones toward a brighter future.
Daily Practice:
- Begin your day by reading Jeremiah 29:11 aloud.
- Journal about one aspect of your life where you can feel a sense of hope or a glimpse of a positive future, no matter how small.
- Gently remind yourself that current challenges are temporary and part of a larger, purposeful journey.
The Knowing and Appointing of the Soul
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
“Alas, Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.”
But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord.
Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, “Now I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I have given you authority over nations and kingdoms to root out and to tear down, to build and to plant.”
– Jeremiah 1:5-10
This passage speaks to an innate sense of purpose and divine knowing that predates our earthly existence. It reassures us that our perceived limitations, such as youth or inexperience, are not barriers to fulfilling our calling. The divine presence offers courage and empowers us to speak and act with authority, knowing we are guided and protected.
How to Embody These Words:
- Reflect on a time you felt inadequate or unqualified for a task. Consider how a higher power might have seen your potential and equipped you.
- Identify one small step you can take today to “plant” or “build” something positive in your life or the lives of others, trusting in your inherent capacity.
- Practice speaking affirmations of your worth and capability, such as “I am guided and protected,” or “My voice matters.”
The author’s profound journey through adversity, illuminated by unwavering faith, serves as a testament to the enduring power of divine love. Readers are encouraged to explore more stories of hope and resilience within our Blog category.
